EL James has kicked up a right ruckus with her Fifty Shades of Grey. Here’s the digested version.

(To be honest, my first concern was how close a ‘spreader bar’ resembled a ‘Tracker Bar’.)

Good for a snigger, but the topic raised a familiar prickly heat. Not in the undercarriage, I assure you.  No, as is my wont, I began to worry.

Is it OK to fantasise about a dominant male while battling for an equal wage?

Does it matter if female erotica is crap on style but high on juice?

Are there men’s groups who agonise over the politics of Nuts?

Erotica v. porn. Titillate? Subjugate?

I’m still battling with my own attitudes to pornography. I grew up reading both sides of the debate. Andrea Dworkin and Anaïs Nin. It took me several goes to appreciate O. I’m yet to face Salò. (Truthfully, I doubt I’ll ever have the courage.) I salute Kate Millett.

So the new wave of something labelled as submissive “Mommy Porn” makes me wary. As if facing a goose cooperative selling home-made foie gras.

Of course women should feel free to enjoy kinky sex. Enjoy porn. What the hell, enjoy Tracker Bars, if it’s consensual with a notarized pre-nup. My problem is that so much ‘female’ pornography is filtered through the male lens of power. That’s what makes me feel uncomfortable about Christian and Anastasia / Bella and Eyebrows.

I rarely read erotica for the reasons above. Apart from Barbie Scott. In Scottland, sex can be many things. Passionate, smart and fun. Check out ‘Collar and Cuffs’.

Much crap has been spouted as a result of the new discussion of female fantasies, but the most dangerous is that it’s not fantasy. “It’s what all women really want.”

You might want to check that one first.