… Critiquing sites

1. As a reader, I should know my limitations. If a piece isn’t a familiar genre, can I usefully contribute?

2. As a writer, I ‘try’ to take criticism the same way as I accept compliments. Even if the person critting my work wouldn’t know Wittgenstein from washing instructions, I say thank you. (Mostly. See below*.)

3. As a reader, I stand back. A long-time English teacher, I find myself scanning for typos, poor grammar and inconsistencies. I had to learn to concentrate on the story arc, the pacing and the narrative.

4. As a writer, I file it. I never react instantly to a critique, but allow the ideas to percolate and respond when my ego has returned to the ground.

5. As a reader, I find something to admire. What I read represents hopes, ambitions, someone’s hours spent at a glowing screen. There’s always something positive to say. And if I really love it, I rave! Critiquing sites often focus on making work better, with precious little waving of pom-poms.

6. As a writer, I compare. And when I have three or more people who have a problem with an issue, plot-point, character action or even a word, I consider changing it. Only consider, mind. (see Point Eleven.)

7. As a reader, I point out what made it knotty for me. I don’t make sweeping assumptions like ‘People will be turned off by …’ Tell the truth. I didn’t like it.

8. As a writer, I read my readers. If the critiquer who bemoans the lack of action writes in the style-of-Schwarzenegger movies, I take it with a pinch of salt. If the writer whose subtle imagery leaves me breathless points out an oafish cliché, I listen.

9. As a reader, I offer solutions. If the characters are thin, if the plot is predictable, if the pace wears my nerves, suggest a fix. Fixes, even. Don’t point out problems without solutions.

10. As a writer, I learn who’s good at what. I have critters I trust at line level for tight language and cliché aversion; critters who nag me about the structure until I get it right; critters who have the eagle-eye on arc, progression and ideas; and a couple of dear cheerleaders who understand Point Five.

And Number 11.

Sometimes, as both writer and reader, I’m stubborn. If I’m sufficiently convinced enough by a concept, image or plot thread, I’ll dig in my heels and stick to my non-clichéd guns.

*Once I did type a nasty retaliation, but you should have seen the critique. Anyway, I’ve matured since then …

Imagine, if you will, a boat.

Let’s call it a ferry. It stands by the shore, patiently awaiting those who wish to cross to the other side. The sun sinks toward the hills, and the light fades to a silvery-pink.

A final whistle sounds.

Latecomers scramble across the jetty, discarding half-eaten sandwiches, rooting in pockets for tickets, and scurry across the gangplanks. The Captain greets each person with a cheerful, confident grin.

In the distance, a man lifts his head. The sound of the ferry’s whistle resonates through his entire being. He leaps to his feet and begins running. Crewmen release ropes, the whistle blasts once more. Children wave and laugh at the receding shore.

The man picks up his pace, feet flying over the shingle, eyes focused on his target. Muscles burning and chest bursting, he reaches the jetty. He sees the wake of the ferry churn. Distant hands of the young and unconcerned flutter in his sightline. Seagulls’ scornful calls echo around the harbour.

 Now, imagine that you are that man. And the ferry is the point.

When I was little, I’d draw things. Mostly unrecognisable things in crayon. Then I’d run to my Mum, say, ‘Look what I did!’ and await the praise.

‘Ooh, look at that! Is it a dragon?’

‘How can it be a dragon, Mum? It’s bright blue! That’s a guinea-pig.’

I’ve only just grown out of it.

Not showing my mother renditions of blue rodents, but running to someone for praise every time I produce something.

I finished a story, look!

What about that for a chapter!

See this article – I did that. No, it’s about guinea-pigs, actually.

Looking for feedback is like looking for water – some of us need it more than others. I have a friend I’d describe as a camel and another as a goldfish. (And another I’d describe as a pot-bellied pig, but that’s for different reasons.) Camel writes entire books, trilogies, even, and needs no cheerleaders, coaches or encouragement. Whereas Goldfish can tear apart paragraphs, sentences and individual words like a ferret at a wishbone.

Feedback can be feast or famine. My earliest public critiques came from a website which operates on a give-and-take basis. You review random pieces, random people review your work. I gained a great deal of insightful advice and realised my weaknesses. Some brilliant writers, without patronising or offending, pointed out where I needed work, and I appreciated every last one.

But the key word is Random.

I also received opinions  I filed under the heading, ‘I’ll Laugh About This Later’. Reading them back now, they look so bizarre, they could be clever spoofs.

They weren’t.

“Avoid pretty description. No clever phrasing. No cute dialogu. (sic) The motor that drive (sic) the story is conflict. Readers do not want characters to be happy.
Apply the above to everything you write.”

“I know I have a poorly developed sense of humour, which may be why I don’t find this funny, even though you describe it as a comedy.”

“I commend you for trying this but as regards your English, I advise you to walk before you try to run. Why not compose a simple but interesting plot and write about it in straightforward English, taking great care with your vocabulary and grammar – all the time, keeping it simple and very well organised.”

“I don’t know what I’d suggest to improve your writing. You seem to write with confidence and style. If you wrote a longer piece, I am sure it would be good. People always mention pov in my reviews, and I am not always clear what they are referring to, so I won’t mention that, except to say I think yours are fine.”

Hmm.

So how to find those Heavenly Critters? The ones who get what you’re trying to do and offer constructive advice, the ones who point a laser at a lazy cliché, the ones who can spot the plot-hole before you’ve even written it.

I found some treasure and I’ve drawn a map …

More soon …

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